Icky Boo

Icky- “1935, Amer.Eng., probably from icky-boo (c.1920) “sickly, nauseated,” probably baby talk elaboration of sick. Originally a swing lover’s term for more sentimental jazz music.”  –  Dictionary.com.

Icky- it’s how I feel- hot- sticky – Icky boo.

And it is the unofficial last weekend of summer.

This week was full of personal crises, not my own, but unsettling just the same. Our children are always our children. When they hurt, we hurt too.

My level of insecurity is higher than normal (and my normal would be off the charts for most people). I have been convinced for the past week that my horse dislikes me.

Our relationship has been changing with the riding lessons. I’m more consistent and insistent, even on our trail meanderings. And since I’m still learning, I am frequently clumsy in the way I cue him.

He’s frustrated.

I would be.

Yes, I know I shouldn’t anthropomorphize or project my own emotions onto him. He’s a horse. He doesn’t have the same range of emotions as humans. Or so I’ve been told over and over again.

But he has been different toward me.

I was away for a few days and when I got back, there was no welcome nicker. He didn’t meet at the gate- I had to go get him.

Last night, he didn’t hang by the fence when I turned him out like he usually does. He looked toward the back field where the herd was and cantered off.

This morning we hit the trail for the first time since Irene blew through. Trees were down everywhere and we had to bushwhack around them. At one point, I got off to lead him over a stone wall.

He refused-

Even though Willow and Neato had already gone over it. Someone had to pressure him from behind to get him by.

He used to follow me pretty much anywhere.

I’m questioning if this is worth it.

Deep down I know it is. He’s starting to get a better top line. His neck is getting good muscles. He isn’t tripping. And when I ask for a lope, he responds so much better. He’s more balanced.

But the way we relate to each other has definitely changed.

It’s the end of summer. The leaves will be changing in another month.

Seems like everything is in flux.

The only thing constant is change……

Icky.

Icky Boo.

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Explore posts in the same categories: horses, Living in the moment, poetry of apaul, Responsible horse ownership, trail riding

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