Archive for the ‘Medical Hoo Haa’ category

When a Blue Ribbon is an Epic Fail

November 24, 2020

A few weeks ago, Jigs placed first at a versatility. It was totally unexpected and not our best performance…ahem… well, not MY best performance. I took him off course and totally skipped an obstacle.  Not sure how we won our division….

What is worse is I rode the course and 4 trail miles without my helmet. When someone asked where it was at mile 2, I froze. My brain was foggy.  I went back and retrieved it from my truck to finish the second loop.

Riding without a helmet is a huge NO for me. I have fallen enough times to know its value. When I flew off Pepper onto the pavement, my Troxel was cracked front to back.  That would have been my head.

And there was the time I got bucked off hard and ended up in the ER with a bruised hip. That night I had also forgotten my helmet but remembered as I started to mount. I ran back to the barn to get it. Who knows what would have happened if I had not?

Riding with a helmet is my rule.

I have been struggling with Vertigo over the last month. One episode was so bad my daughter took me to the ER. A saline drip and a few meds got me through that frightening morning.

A follow up visit to my doctor resulted in removal of wax and another appointment to check on my blood pressure. I have been doing exercises to help reposition the crystals in my ears, but the dizziness is recurring.

My daughter who is an ER medic has been taking my blood pressure almost daily. Seems like I may suffer from white coat syndrome as it is still high but not dangerously high as it was in the ER and the Doctor’s office.

I suspect my physical issues reflect the world around me. 2020 has been stressful for EVERYONE. I must keep reminding myself how lucky I am. Maybe that is why I do not feel like I earned a blue ribbon for a less than perfect performance- even though Jigs was joyful on the course.


My problems are first world. I have food, a place to live, and a horse to ride, while others wait in line for hours to get a box of food so their families can eat.

Thanksgiving is approaching. I will focus on being thankful. The undeserved blue ribbon is a reminder of how lucky I have been in this long, stressful year.

Helen Marina Paul July 4, 1933 – April 3, 2019

April 13, 2019

helen paul at cape seal tour

The past two weeks have been incredibly difficult. My mother passed away on April 3. The death certificate lists the time at 1:34 AM, but it was earlier because it took the nurse 45 minutes to come.  It’s funny how details like that stick in your mind.

My mother’s congestive heart failure had worsened; she refused treatment. At 85, she was tired. Her world had shrunken. She missed my father and all who passed before.  She wanted to stay home and was terrified she would end up in a nursing home. I could not allow that.

Hospice was invoked on Monday; she was gone barely into Wednesday. She was not alone. We were all there.

Since then I have been consumed by the things that have to happen when someone dies- Wake, funeral, finances, taxes. There is still more to do.

My girls and Jigs have kept me sane. Everyone has been so kind.

My eldest did the remembrance at the funeral. I just couldn’t do it. It was beautiful and she captured our best memories.

The house feels empty.  I have been staying here almost 15 years- since my father got sick.

Taking care of my mother was the core focus the past few years. I’m not sure what will happen next. It is all changed now. I guess my life will settle into a new pattern. I will adjust, but I will always miss her.

Me, the frustrated old lady, whines….

July 9, 2011

July 9, 2011

Today I felt like a dowdy, past middle aging woman fooling herself into thinking she could add “refinement” to her horse by teaching him to side pass.

I just can’t get it. I’m too clumsy. I am not clear with my body and I confuse Jigs. Worse still, he does know how to do it; he just plain refuses to.

Jigs isn’t mean. He doesn’t crowd my space. He doesn’t try to smack my knee into a tree or knock me down. He doesn’t run off with me- he’s slow and lazy and eats his way through the trail. He walks crooked.

I know I’m the problem.

I’m one of those aging women desperately trying to reconnect with their youth through horses.  Rather pathetic. There’s a whole industry built up around our fantasies. We read the books; go to the clinics; buy the magic tools. Most of it is hogwash and doesn’t work.

But the truth is I love Jigs. He is a great horse. I trust him with my grand boys. He listens to me most of the time. He’s fun to be around.

He’s the bright spot in my life.

So what if I’m a past middle age dowdy almost old woman trying to teach a horse to side pass for the first time?  Maybe one day we’ll figure it out together.

Medical Expenses

May 6, 2010

Over the past few months I’ve watched how inefficient medical care is and how incompetent hospitals, doctors, and the system really is. That is the true expense of health care.

For example, my father has been back and forth between his doctor, his specialist, and the hospital but NOTHING has been fixed. The hospital releases him and tells him the specialist will do the procedure in his office. The specialist then prescribes a $170 prescription and sends him home. Two weeks later he removes the catheter, and sends him home again with NOTHING done, and by midnight, my father is back in the hospital to have a catheter put back in. This has happened three times now. The last time he told my father if he wanted to have the procedure to correct the problem (a simple and less expensive option), they would need to do it in the hospital- the opposite of what the hospital told him.

In the mean time, the specialist collects his insurance payment, co-payment and perks from the drug company. My father is still suffering.

You tell me who makes out?

Where is the primary care in all of this? In his office. He’s not allowed to participate in any hospital care because it is the hospital policy. Every visit, a new doctor is assigned and a new diagnosis.

Again, who makes out? The hospital gets paid by the insurance.

I’m not suggesting that the insurance companies are blameless, but when you think about it, who REALLY profits?

Just my thoughts…..