No expectations going into 2021.
Clairvoyance is not my superpower. What will happen, will happen.
Remaining in reverse will not change anything other than digging a muddy rut you cannot escape, even with an 8-cylandar engine and 4-wheel drive.
Best to focus on each moment for what it is. Breathe it in then let it go.
A year ago tomorrow, Dad died. It feels as if it was yesterday. Zac was playing in his first Football game. I was going to watch a half then catch some of Caleb’s game. I never made it.
I got the call that he had been unresponsive at the nursing home and was being rushed to the ER. I left my daughter and her family to meet my mother at the hospital. He was gone before I got there.
It was unreal.
Yesterday I went to the Marshfield Fair to compete in the annual versatility. The course was hard and riders were taking the full six minutes only to get the time disqualification. Jigs and I did okay in our first two rounds but not perfect. It was a long day; I scratched our third round and went home. There had been only one perfect round when I left. I have no idea who won and I don’t care. Jigs did okay, that was enough. Our score was 85 and we finished well under the time limit.
We returned to the barn late afternoon. As I was backing my car out, I misjudged and cut to wide, nicking the corner of my friend’s stock trailer. The steel trailer was scratched, but okay; my seven month old car, not so okay. There’s damage to the rear panels that will require body work.
I felt horrible- upset I hit my friend’s trailer, upset my new car was damaged. All the while, Dad was in my mind.
The boys had their first games of the year at the same time today. I decided not to go to any of them. Instead, Jigs and I went on a trail ride. It’s what I do when my mind is unsettled. It was a lovely late August day, grapes and drying leaves.
After the ride I visited Dad at Saint Luke’s Cemetery. There were flowers and the usual Patriot’s flag. A day short of a year and I am still in shock.
As I was leaving, a long buried memory surfaced. I was 15 ½ and preparing for the driving test. Dad took me to the cemetery to practice turning and backing up. He got out of the car, grabbed a beer from the six pack he had brought, threw me the keys, and walked up the hill. “You drive by yourself. These corners are pretty tight. I’ll watch from up here. Don’t hit anything,” he said over his shoulder.
I suspect he’s still watching me. He must have had a good laugh at my poor turning yesterday.
Miss you Joe.
Another stay-cation is over. Big Sigh. I didn’t get much time to rest this week but did get a lot accomplished. Most important, the house is sparkly clean- vinyl siding and roof. I ended up hiring someone to do it. After watching the process, I’m glad I did.
I rode every day. We practiced cantering between obstacles and managed a long trail ride during the week. That was a great luxury.
Today Jigs and I attended a local benefit show/gymkhana thing. It was all speed events, not our strong suit but we finished 3rd in trail, 4th in the obstacle race. He placed 5th in barrels with another rider- someone who is an expert barrel racer. Jigs certainly enjoyed the chance to run fast.
Our barn took 1st , 2nd , and 3rd in the trail race. We spent a lot of time working obstacles and it showed. Many of the faster horses freaked out at the bridge and mailbox. It was pretty much yawn yawn for ours!
Obstacles require finesse and trust. That is why I enjoy them. They are good preparation for the trail. You never know what you will encounter. There are times when you need to draw on the confidence and trust developed by obstacle work.
And they are fun! Jigs agrees….
It’s that time again- the last day of vacation. There is still the weekend, but that doesn’t count. It’s back to work on Monday.
Of course I had sensible plans for the week-pressure wash the house, give my room a good scrub, mow the lawn, send hoof boots off to have studs added, sort though my tack at the barn and in the cellar, ride my horse… BUT, not much of it got done.
I did send the hoof boots.
And I rode in my Brand NEW Saddle! So far we have logged over 20 miles in it!
The house will get pressure washed in a few weeks. The rest will get done too. But for now, off to ride!
– for my red pony
We leave hoof prints
in the soft mud
of early spring,
before the bursting
of bugs and buds.
Summer rises
to meet us as we soar
the green field toward
the blue parachute of sky,
never reaching it.
Yellow stalks of corn
clatter in the wake of autumn
leading us to white fields
of snow, barren, but
flecked with rainbows
of light and memory.
– apaul 2013
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