I have had a job of some sort ever since I was 14. Even the summer I took off to finish my master’s thesis, I wrote a weekly column for a local ad paper. (Remember those? It was the 80s after all). What to fill time with?
But I will be busy over the next months. I’m overwhelmed at how busy. First to arrange expenses to fit a lower income. This means getting the house ready for sale and finding another in a less expensive community, preferably with acreage. To do that means another go around sorting 60 years of stuff accumulated by my parents. My dad NEVER threw anything away. There are some things I don’t love, but could not let go the first time because my mother loved them.
But the best part will be riding during the work week. I admit all the Facebook and Instagram photos of others riding weekdays make me jealous. Now I will take my own weekday photos!
Vertigo kept me from riding the past few weeks. This episode lasted days and included a trip to the ER. I was finally able to hop on bare back and walk gingerly around the ring for about 25 minutes on Friday.
Initially on the fence about having my usual Sunday lesson, I decided to do it. Worse case- it would be time in good footing with someone watching me- safer than trying to regain my balance alone.
After walking around the indoor both directions, I tried trotting. Not bad. I was mostly balanced. So why not try for third gear? (What my instructor calls canter because Jigs knows verbal queues.) Surprisingly, it was the best cantering in a long time. Still leaning left going clockwise, but less so than usual. Not bad for two out of shape old coots.
With the memory of dizzy, I focused on ahead, not down. Repeat: I DID NOT LOOK DOWN! OR BACK
February has been warm, too warm. Last week I canceled my lesson because Saturday morning was -11 F and it was near 50 degrees the next day. I did not want my pony to get a belly ache. He is 20 this year after all!
Yesterday was not as warm, but perfect for an 8.5-mile jaunt through Douglas State Forest. Our route included a few scenic trails we had not ridden before.
The best part of the day: Jigs was so excited to go out with his friend Copper, he loaded himself on the trailer without me asking! I do think he enjoys these outings.
No resolutions for 2023. How can I know what my reality will be in three months, six, or eleven? What defines me today may not be relevant tomorrow.
The rational me counters, but without goals how do you get anywhere? Achieve anything? Fair point.
A local news commentator declared successful resolutions are “smart goals.” I’m left pondering if resolutions are goals? Goals map out a journey toward a larger vision.
Perhaps the relevant question is what is my vision for 2023 and beyond?
When I was “less old,” I used to play a game where I wrote a letter from my future self to my current self. In it, I described what I had done and was doing. It was an attempt to actualize success. At thirty-five, I thought I had time to meander along paths of distraction. So, I did. Nothing in those letters ever came true.
And now there is less time to “fulfill” a “vision.” But if each step, each moment in time, is a life lived, does it matter? My vision is to continue meandering along the paths of distraction and leave behind trails of joy.
Ranch horse class scratched off the bucket list. Okay, only walk trot, but the first real ring show I have been in since 4-H in my teens- almost 50 years ago!
We took 5th places in Ranch Equitation and Pattern at the Blandford Fair. The latter because there were 5 entries. I am proud of Equitation. It was a larger class; we were not last. We ribboned despite Jigs picking up the canter twice. Not sure if the judge saw it.
Ranch Equitation – 5th Place
We were last in Halter (HATED IT) and Pleasure. Jigs does not have a slow jog and is too quick for quarter horse type classes.
There were 70 plus classes on the day. It was a long wait for 4 classes- less than 45 minutes in the ring.
Will I do another ring show? Not likely, although I did like the pattern class. At my age it is hard to remember required transitions, let alone get the red pony to slow down and extend his trot.
The ribbons were pretty. Our 360s in both directions were perfect! And I know what we must work on- speed control, halt, staying in gait. Fixing these will improve our ability to be competitive in Mountain Trail Challenges.
We hit the trails yesterday for the first time in over a month. I had a relaxed pony and worked on trot/halt transitions. We did not canter. Still not 100% comfortable with speed on the trails- especially when I am alone, which is 100% of the time.
Our plan was cow sorting tonight, but the event was canceled. Really bummed. Jigs loves chasing cows. Trying to find things he likes so he doesn’t get sour. Next week is another Mountain Trail Challenge! He does seem to like them. Now if we can just get the 180 turn on an obstacle. That is our goal this year!
February’s pattern is snow and more snow with a few warmish (in the upper 20s low 30s) days between. Footing on the trails is decent. We know where water pools into ice beneath it and are careful- maybe too careful.
Last weekend Jigs and I even managed some extended loping behind my friend and her wonderful mustang. Loping is rare for me on these trails. Without the snow they are rocky and uneven with tree roots.
At 3 plus 60, I have become a cautious rider, almost fearful. I do not canter unless sure of the footing. I no longer ride on the road when alone.
Today Jigs was full of exuberance. He wanted to run when I wanted to jog. My hesitation was a buzz kill. It nearly came to a rare argument.
I feel bad.
Feel bad that I did not give him a chance to stretch out.
Feel bad that I slowed my friend down.
Feel bad not to be that little girl who could fly without consequence.
There is no cure for aging. We shrink. Our bodies lose flexibility. Our bones get brittle. We no longer bounce, even with snow on the ground.
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